saw jie today with benedict in school. she came to take her O level cert. mr koh even photocopied it and showed to the class. dot dot. but her results were damn excellent! whee jie. my class was praising her and im so proud of her! yay jie. you rock xP and during english lessons, we were asked to write an oral essay. the topic i wrote was about someone i confide in. i wrote about jie. i love her more than anyone else do. xP then borrowed the oral O level guide from my chinese teacher. gonna mug for my chinese oral tonight.

GCE O Level Chinese Oral is arriving in a few hours time! uh oh. i need to study real hard tonight. yeah i got to! this will be the last chance for me. oh hell. i miss him too. ):

thought about my di when i was right outisde my house door. i dont know why. he's just on my mind. im missing him loads. oh wells. received one HUGE stack of maths papers. wah lan eh! please kill me.

oh wells. as fer today. i stayed at home. lizhen came over early in the morning so i just went down to pass her some stuffs. was like damn sleepyy! then tried to complete my lit. had tuition after that. i was like gonna fall asleep lor. and my teacher was like, 'DONT SLEEP AH YOUUU!!!' =P yayys. i completed my lit already. im left with physics. should i do? im really lazy =\

yesterday class bbq at ecp was neutral? yeah. i should be enjoying myself but that blardy officer booked down my name due to the litters around the pit. i jex hope i wont get the fine. sharddup. 'you never kanna booked of course fun la'. hell. oh forget it. at least i had some fun at night still. took pics too using ying's digicam. whee i love ying dear! muacks! =P

i was blardy late when i reached je. met kingsly, jingyi, darren chua, alex quek, glen, shan, jj, jiahao at there. they were ice skating. i didnt so i went down and did some of my homework. i such a good girl =P then jinchang, leonard etc came and sat with me. coincidence ehs. they were like kids playing cards. sixteen already still playing cards. hell. then urms pearly jie came. zhenguang, lianhong and benedict too. we went pizza hut and had our early dinner. i was bloated.

then in the evening met shan and co. again. they asked me join them fer prata at jalan kayu but i didnt. so i sent them to the mrt. xP oh yeahs. thanks to GLEN. he did a GREAT job! he was like making me deaf. IM NEARLY DEAF. oh NOO! im deaf fer like 3 mins?! wth. he whistled and it was like damn freaking sharp! and he kept making fun of me ): the next time i see him im gonna wear cotton wool or stuff the cotton wool inside HIS MOUTH and he can whistle shit out! =D im mean. mooohahahas. but that was fun larhs. i love fun! =D

went fer movie - the chronicles of riddick. the movie was rubbish! 80% fighting. but a little exciting. after the movie, went fer a drink. had fun! bwahhaas.

another busy day tomorrow. urgh. im one lousy organiser. i hope the bbq will be a success. -p0of-

waited for sherm to come
it took him so long
he's like crawling here
lols.

took a cab to ps
its damn near. crazy =
ying started to tickle sherm
i was asked to help out
but one is my dear
another is my baby
im stucked in between.

met huili and lizhen at jurong point.
yays. found my fav deeppink bra strap!
lols. it's pretty kies.
that's the only happy thing i've done today.
hoho. that's bad.

saw vera, lynn, jj, cinna etc outside there. after pool went arcade. shan played with me after that. hahas. the rest came too. nigel, kenny, sherman were there. urms. kinda bored la. i was wondering what i could do after they went for movie. supposing wanna meet jolene but she's with gabriel. don wanna be lightbulb! =P so in the end i joined them fer movie - around the world in 80 days!

the movie was damn funny. i love that boxers part. LOL. it was hilarious! and it was freezing cold! i got a flu too. )): after the show, saw alex chia. leroy should be there bahs. i left as i had to catch a concert. i ran and ran and ran, almost out of breath =| managed to reach there in time.

the performance was okay. there's four parts - juzbell, guitar, piano duo and choir. only juzbell was a success. hahas yes! yuhua alumni band! the rest was like so sucky. yea im criticising. i was like 'how come pianist need to use the score when performing since she's so talented' = im mean. hoho.

went je to have supper. i didnt have my dinner yet thou. ate at ljs and saw jinhong kor, jason, lianhong and DAWN! yes DAWN! waahahas. super long didnt see her. xP went back with winnie mei and collen. talked quite a lot with mei. i lurfee yoo mei. =P

oh wells. not a bad day lars. im happy to see babyy! LOLS. and gladys dear! and lots lots. i didnt know ying dear was beside me when im playing para too. pity! nvms. there's next time.

did nothing productive today. dont feel like going out. guess i have to read up a few chapters of chemistry today.

accompanied my mum to the hospital this morning. woke up pretty early and headed to nuh. waited for quite a long time so mum and i went down to the cafeteria to have our breakfast. i ate something delicious! yeahs it's really tasty! mushrooms chee cheong fun! the skin is not that 'bouncy', it's really soft and delicious. hahas im in love with it. was sms-ing with baby all along. without him i think i'll feel real scared. okay lah. even though i dont feel completely better, at least he's there. :))

the nurse gave me a call and we went back to the clinic. urmms the procedures i shant say. i saw something which freaked me out. the nostrils..the inside of your nose. and i saw the tissues etc. im not so scared as i do wanna be a doctor in future. xP but i need to consider again. hehs. then went clementi and bought lunch.

started three chapters of chemistry. not so bad lah, but i still need improvement. urgh. better finish all my work. oh wells. im off. ((:

the day is getting nearer and nearer. i see hope, i see darkness. im praying for every hope i have. i dont wish to see her cry, dont wanna her to hug me tight crying. i dont want this to happen. god, please give us the hope. i really need that, really.

i hasn't been going out shopping or playing ever since june holidays have started. sigh. im waiting for saturday! it's been a long time since i last met my primary school friends. there's my school concert band on sunday too. weee. and im looking forward seeing shan and co. xP muaaa* i've missed everyone of you.

you must be wondering what im doing over these few weeks. studying, taking care of my sister in the day, doing household chores. yeah that's what ive been doing. i had just finished a storybook - someone likes you. it's about love, so amazing. but i dont want that kind of love =

im having some problems with friendship now. i cant see a reason why there's a problem in it. perhaps as what everyone says, girls are sensitive. four years of friendship, someone who you are close with, ends up lying to you. and i hate to see my friend got hurt this way. i really wanted to confront her right now, but i cant. i have to wait till a few more weeks. most of the people out there are enjoying their holidays, but it's not the same for me. i feel like screaming. i need someone to be there. i need to strength to carry on. i just.. need you

went for chemical engineering course at singapore poly on thursday. supposing to be medical technology but there's no available space for me ): hrms. chemical engineering was alright, had courses on crude oil, those fractionating column you know..=D got perfume too as it was singapore poly 50th anniversary. had refreshments there too. it was delicious and irresistable! cookies, puffs, mango pancake, and lots of delicacies! -drools-

had remedials on friday as usual. actually, nothing much happened on friday. hehs. mainly study.? yeapps.

hrmms. today! went for chemistry remedial. mr tan looks like a kid. yeah he's acting like one. after 3 hours of remedial, he started complaining. he claimed that he has to go chalet later blahblah. and when he taught us chemistry, he kept looking at his hp. so we nagged at him, 'distracted! looks like a student and we are the teachers'. lols. he's like so funny. every fifteen minutes he'll look at his handphone. he even asked us to recommend him hp models. = and i argued with him over one question. anyways. had fun though. hahas. cant stand him. at around two, met brandon and lizhen at jurong east library. the whole library was crowded and we couldn't manage to find a place for us to study. the fourth floor - vergingallteens, was 'chaos'. there were rock bands performing, singing etc. i think i can't use the word 'quietness' to describe that place. it's like a cafe! hahaas. met a lot of our schoolmates there. xP oh yeah. and my chinese teacher! i love her lots! then we headed to delifrance to study. brandon left at around six. after doing our homework we went shopping. saw my sister and dad too. ahhs. i miss baby! he's been away for days. i wonder if he's doing good there. im thinking of yoo. )):

im feeling better compared to the very psat few days. i fear tuesday, next next tuesday. it's whether im extremely happy or extremely sad, even the verge of dying. i pray for every hope i have.

had remedials. it was pretty fine. reached home, watched the japanese drama again. i simply love that show! -grins- ;D

depression occured after that. i was using the computer from 4-7pm. i did nothing but chatting, stoning around. chatted with baby again. yeapps i missed him tho. muaaa* then somehow i went crazy. my mum came back home telling me bad news, bad phenomenon. so yeah i became like mad cow. i spouted a lot of nonsense and i felt bad. baby. im sorry. somehow i feel that i ruined your day. somehow i feel that i made you feel so bored. somehow i feel that i started to irritate you. i really hope i didnt. but i just cant help feeling sorry. i dont know why, perhaps im sensitive. im sorry. besides that, i wanna say im dependent on you ): that's bad. i might bring lots of troubles for you. sighs. and seriously, i did not lie! i feel so touched and happy when you said that you missed me. even if you said you think so. you are always the one making me feel much better even though i'll still be troubled. i think you are the energy i need.

i hope you wont be reading this cause i just want to voice out how i feel. if you see this i will feel shy. yeah i will cause im a girl. hehs i hope you dont ; please dont mention this entry to me if you reading this. can.?

i coped myself in my dark room, talking to my rabbit soft toy. she's with me since i was two years old. just because i feel helpless and no one to talk to so i ended up talking to a soft toy. im not crazy, im just fine. she's the only one who knows what's going on cause i believe she sees everything that i've been through.

god, please help me. it's the worse time i had. i really need help from you. im breaking down, im falling, im losing control of myself.